You‘re our protector
It was Christmas Eve, alone I was in the early evening with God. I went to His presence in private because I wanted to know what He wanted to personally say to me. I started to strum the guitar with a tune that was stuck in my head when I showered right before. The tune was repeating over and over, and word started to come out, "You're my protector."
You're our protector, our resurrector
As we lift your name above the heaven and earth
May your kingdom be established in our praises
May your work be glorified in our lives
May our spirit be lifted in your presence, Oh Lord
Christ Jesus our protector on high
As I went deeper, He didn't speak that much. He only gave one vision which was me sitting as a little girl on His lap, in the study room. He opened a book and the the words came to life. That was it, no verses. However, as I tried harder, all I got was the same repeating tune and "You're my protector." Then, I felt like I had to stop and record the tune. I then took a clean sheet of paper and wrote down the words with the chords and recorded a video. That was the gift of creating songs/psalms/hymns.
People will see it's obvious for a Micha to be able to make music because I have playing in the conservatorium the saxophone, which is improvisational jazz. Moreover, the classical piano since I was 6? But truthfully, only this year that the Holy Spirit has been equipping me to be able to lead a worship using a guitar. This is not me but it was God who have brought me and provided me with the motivation, drive and inspiration.
My first experience leading a worship was with the first person I brought to know the service in the spirit, the beginning of the year. I had that huge drive to be able to baptized her in the spirit that I just got to worship together. Again, it was the first time for her to worship the unconventional way. I started with playing the guitar but somehow it was so difficult, she was restricting me with the exact tone, the exact words and I know worshiping is not about restriction and formalities but to freely express the emotion and bring power. I switched to piano and I tried to strive harder pushing up. But I guess I wasn't strong enough. She ended up commenting and said that my style of worship is not her style and that she likes these calm, deep instense music. In my heart I said, "Oh dear, you don't know what you are missing." I know everyone have their own way of worshiping God, but when you are as a cooperate, you need to work together as one not fixing on individual ego.
Actually, that moment, I felt really down because I thought I was doing things wrong. I felt like God was saying, "It's okay. You are learning and you will do fine. Just focus on improving." But after some time I got to lead a group of people in the same spirit, I was doing the same but with stronger spirit and I had people who were not pulling me down but help pushing me up. That's why, almost everyday I practice on either my piano, mainly guitar to sing and praise the Lord to the point that my offering is decent to be presented to God and that He gave me the tunes and words to worship Him even more.